Let's get started

                                         Katie and her tumbleweed before we got to Nancy's



Thank-you Nancy for getting me going. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I guess I'll figure it out as I go. I'm starting this blog as a means to communicate with all my family and friends with what is happening in my life and as a personal record of my journey with my latest trial being diagnosed with Breast Cancer. So, some parts may be too much for you, others will just be a quick update, read as much or little as you want....... Wednesday March 16th I got up excited to head over to Nancy's with Dale and Katie Casey so we could "take over" the Martin gang ( Natalie, Emily, Blake and Hailey) while Nancy and Byron took off for a quick trip to Vegas for a Ricks College Re-union. After a "hugful" re-union with Nancy and the two youngest , Dale and I wereheaded off to the park with Blake, Hailey, and Katie for a quick preview of fun while we waited for Natalie and Emily to get home from school. I forgot Hailey's binky and decided it would behoove me to run in and get it, as I did I heard my cell phone ringing.........hmmmmm it was from OHSU. They had said they would call me the following afternoon Thursday, not today, with my biopsy results, which they expected were probably what they called "fatty necrosis" but they couldn't definitively rule out carcinoma. My nursing mind said, "O.K. no news is good news, why are they calling ME NOW?" The nurse on the other end said "I have your biopsy results"......I'm thinking "O.K. what are they?", but there is silence and she makes me ask what they are..........not a good sign. She says "I'm really sorry, but they were positive, you have breast cancer." Everything just sort of stopped. I thought "what?" "you're kidding?" I got really "stupid" and just listened as she explained it is "Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, a Grade 2" and went off into a world of surrealistic explanations, none of which I understood or got..........I was too busy integrating the information.......I have breast cancer! Poor Byron, was the first person I saw, I kind of mumbled "I just found out I have breast cancer" grabbed him in a big hug, put my head on his shoulder, and broke out in huge gulping sobs. He wrapped his arms around me and just held me and said "I'm sorry". I FELT his love...........turns out he was a good person to be there for me. He asked me if there was anything he could do, to which I immediately responded "I would really appreciate it if you and Dale would give me a blessing." Then, Dale pokes his head in to see what is taking so long and I tell him. He tears up while trying to assimilate the information too, hugging, crying, hugging. The kids are clueless, except Katie who hugs grandma and says "what is the matter". I try to explain to my 10yr old granddaughter that I just found out I'm sick. I received a wonderful blessing, and decided the best thing to do was distract us and head to the park with the kids anyway.............big mistake. Trying to be cheerful and fun with a 10 month, 3 yr old, and 10 yr old, right after this news was not happening. I fought the tears while smiling at the kids and trying to cheer Blake down the slide. It was at this point, I realized, for the first time I could remember............"I can't push myself through this. I can't do this. I have to go home." Nancy and Natalie were overwhelmingly loving. More tears, more hugs. Even Blake came up and hugged grandma in a solemn, sincere fashion, which spoke only of a precious spirit who sensed something serious was going on but did not really understand.

                                         Emily hiding from grandma, afraid she might "catch it"

 Emily hid under a table with tears in her eyes. We found out she was afraid to get too close to grandma so she wouldn't catch whatever this ailment was that had everyone so upset about. After I told her it wasn't contagious she came over and hugged me too.

                                               Nancy just found out I have breast cancer

                                                           Byron and Blake

The kids made a dozen cards for me that I will treasure forever. This was all the beginning of feeling the Saviors' arms wrap around me. Home and I texted the Bishop to let him know what was happening. He asked me if it was O.K. to have the ward include me in their fast. Wow, I was honored. The next thing I know I am getting phone calls and e-mails filled with the overwhelming warmth of the Savior. His angels are with me and I feel the love and the strength. How blessed I am. I decide to call this "MY Willie Handcart Experience". I'm wanting to "walk with angels, and talk with God". Sunday was a spiritual feast, I actually felt that I was being blessed to be able to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ than I ever have before. There is a plan here. The natural woman gets frightened, and anxious (especially at night), but then comes the peace........Oh that wonderful peace. Bishop Neil and Dale gave me a blessing, along with all the ward missionaries and Brother Farthing. It was overwhelming, I felt the spirit from my head to my toes. Again.........more gratitude. Current Update: Tomorrow we got see my Oncology Nurse, Christina, who is going to give us more information. Thursday we go see my Surgical Oncologist, Dr Naik, at 10:15 am FOR A 40 minute visit and then she will order the rest of my tests needed to "stage" my cancer. This will include axillary(armpit) ultrasound, chest x-ray, and CT Scans of my body to see if it has spread anywhere else. Then we meet with my Oncology team to get the results, staging, and their proposal for treatment. Will advise you then.