First Day With Oncologists

Here's the down and dirty for the day:

-Tests show I have an aggressive cancer

-I had an MRI, they think it may be larger than the CT SCAN showed, won't know results until Monday

-Starting Chemotherapy first instead of Surgery (will explain in dialogue)

-Therefore getting a "Smart Port" (Port-a-cath) which is a central line that goes straight into my heart. Will be surgically inserted sometime next week.

-Chemotherapy will last 4-5ish months depending on my response (yes I will lose all my hair!)

-Will then have surgery (hopefully less aggressive with shrinkage of rumor from chemo)

-Will then have radiation

-Total treatment approximately 1 year

O.K. now here is my lengthy dribble for those of you who want to endure:

What a beautiful day, the sun was actually out!! Got to the "Center for Health and Healing" (called CHH down at the waterfront looking up at the OHSU campus on the hill) a little early . Met a wonderful woman as we walked in who is a volunteer and a "survivor". She hugged me and said "You'll do great". Nice way to start the day. We got escorted into a room to wait for Dr. Naik, with the most beautiful view of the campus on the hill and the Tram heading up there.

(Picture above).

Then Dr. Naik walked in. What a nice person (seems like someone who went to Yale should be kind of stuffy or something?) When I asked her for a picture she got all shy until I said "hey I got your picture off the internet anyway." She laughed and said sure. I told her to act like she liked me, and she said "I do like you!" She looks like a kid to me!! Here we are getting all acquanted. She told me they(the team) had their conference about me this morning and that in some cases they think it wise to do the chemo therapy first, and that in my case they are thinking this is so. Funny, because I woke at 4am thinking "there must be cancer cells bopping around my bloodstream, why don't they nail them right away?" Then when we were ready to leave for OHSU, Dale gave me a blessing that reminded me of the Initiatory and that I would truly see truth and error and know what was right. I immediately recognized this as truth me for and felt very comfortable with it. She said they would shrink down the tumor and the surgery would then not need to be as aggressive. Then we talked about different kinds of surgeries, and agreed to discuss further after I talked with Dr Chui, the Hematology Oncologist, or the guy in charge of chemo therapy.

Kirsten and Dr Chui

Dr Chui came in next. What a great guy. I instantly liked him. He has the greatest laugh. I told him I believe in God, and he said "So do I". I told him "that's good, because I'm being prayed for, and so are you". He liked that. I asked him for a picture too, and he was great with it. Hopefully I can get this page to add another picture. If not, I'll add it somewhere. Dr Chui explained that he treats breast cancer as a holistic disease. "I treat the whole body". He talked about cancer cells running around my body that are too small for them to detect yet and that he wants to get them now. He explained the chemo therapy in more depth . He said if the cancer is not elsewhere (in a detectable form such as another tumor) "I can cure you". He said that he did not take the word "cure" lightly, but that he believed he could. He said I would have to go through a lot, lose my hair, get sick, etc but he could cure me. I said "sign me up". I didn't even have to think about it and ponder, consider. I recognized it as truth and knew it was right! (I'd still rather run away, but I guess that's not going to happen.)

I may potentially try an investigative drug based on DNA testing of the tumor if I "qualify". This we'll know on Monday when the MRI tests results are in (which I'm having done tonight) Dr Chui said it will not interfear with my standard treatment, and is showing great potential for being able to zoom specifically in on the individuals tumor, in my case , the Kirsten tumor. I've heard bits and pieces about this in the IRU (where I worked last at OHSU) and have heard great things. So..........if I qualify I'll try it. More on that later. Next I met with Mary Ann, the RN who oriented me to "all about my Port-a-cath" which is the central line going in to my heart to receive my Chemo therapy. She was extremely sensitive and caring, I could feel it and I appreciated it so much. Thanks Mary Ann!

Then Dale and I went to Dinner at Red Lobster, dropped by Costco for a couple items and headed back to OHSU. We are really tired now.

The MRI was interesting.............I got into the machine and said "HEY! I NEED SOME IV ATIVAN!" I starting sweating and feeling like I couldn't breathe. They pulled me out immediately. I said I didn't think that would happen, but hey, I can't help it.........it is freaky in there, lying face down, with your boobs hanging out!!! The tech said, hey no problem, I'll go get the RN, this happens a lot.

In comes Nurse "I'm busy, do you really need to bother me!!!" With hand on hip she tells me all her problems, the med box has been sent to the pharmacy, she doesn't have any drug right here, she'll have to call the pharmacy..........and I'm just looking at her thinking........O.K.???? So why aren't you doing it? Then she says "this will delay you at least another 15-20 minutes", "I'll have to fax it down, and then run down there and get it". Then she says "Well, (breath hard), do you really want me to do all that?" I'm thinking. "You're kidding, I got the nurse from hell tonight". I'm thinking...........hey, I have always been a kind and loving nurse, what they hey??? So, I make the command decision to try it once more, and it if doesn't work, poor little nursy will have to inconvenience herself and DO HER JOB!!!

As they put me back into the machine with soft music playing on the headphones, I felt the spirit wisk over me, and I relaxed. I had no problem the rest of the time with anxiety. I only felt like my shoulders were going to break the last 8 minutes.........but hey???? I want the results!!

Welll, that's it for today. I still say, I'd much rather be the nurse than the patient. Oh, and by the way.............I start my new job tomorrow at the Vancouver Eye Surgery. What an irony.

Dr Chui says he thinks I can have Chemo on Friday, get sick over the week-end, and work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Why not??? It will probably be good for me.

See you tomorrow!!