First Day With Oncologists

Here's the down and dirty for the day:

-Tests show I have an aggressive cancer

-I had an MRI, they think it may be larger than the CT SCAN showed, won't know results until Monday

-Starting Chemotherapy first instead of Surgery (will explain in dialogue)

-Therefore getting a "Smart Port" (Port-a-cath) which is a central line that goes straight into my heart. Will be surgically inserted sometime next week.

-Chemotherapy will last 4-5ish months depending on my response (yes I will lose all my hair!)

-Will then have surgery (hopefully less aggressive with shrinkage of rumor from chemo)

-Will then have radiation

-Total treatment approximately 1 year

O.K. now here is my lengthy dribble for those of you who want to endure:

What a beautiful day, the sun was actually out!! Got to the "Center for Health and Healing" (called CHH down at the waterfront looking up at the OHSU campus on the hill) a little early . Met a wonderful woman as we walked in who is a volunteer and a "survivor". She hugged me and said "You'll do great". Nice way to start the day. We got escorted into a room to wait for Dr. Naik, with the most beautiful view of the campus on the hill and the Tram heading up there.

(Picture above).

Then Dr. Naik walked in. What a nice person (seems like someone who went to Yale should be kind of stuffy or something?) When I asked her for a picture she got all shy until I said "hey I got your picture off the internet anyway." She laughed and said sure. I told her to act like she liked me, and she said "I do like you!" She looks like a kid to me!! Here we are getting all acquanted. She told me they(the team) had their conference about me this morning and that in some cases they think it wise to do the chemo therapy first, and that in my case they are thinking this is so. Funny, because I woke at 4am thinking "there must be cancer cells bopping around my bloodstream, why don't they nail them right away?" Then when we were ready to leave for OHSU, Dale gave me a blessing that reminded me of the Initiatory and that I would truly see truth and error and know what was right. I immediately recognized this as truth me for and felt very comfortable with it. She said they would shrink down the tumor and the surgery would then not need to be as aggressive. Then we talked about different kinds of surgeries, and agreed to discuss further after I talked with Dr Chui, the Hematology Oncologist, or the guy in charge of chemo therapy.

Kirsten and Dr Chui

Dr Chui came in next. What a great guy. I instantly liked him. He has the greatest laugh. I told him I believe in God, and he said "So do I". I told him "that's good, because I'm being prayed for, and so are you". He liked that. I asked him for a picture too, and he was great with it. Hopefully I can get this page to add another picture. If not, I'll add it somewhere. Dr Chui explained that he treats breast cancer as a holistic disease. "I treat the whole body". He talked about cancer cells running around my body that are too small for them to detect yet and that he wants to get them now. He explained the chemo therapy in more depth . He said if the cancer is not elsewhere (in a detectable form such as another tumor) "I can cure you". He said that he did not take the word "cure" lightly, but that he believed he could. He said I would have to go through a lot, lose my hair, get sick, etc but he could cure me. I said "sign me up". I didn't even have to think about it and ponder, consider. I recognized it as truth and knew it was right! (I'd still rather run away, but I guess that's not going to happen.)

I may potentially try an investigative drug based on DNA testing of the tumor if I "qualify". This we'll know on Monday when the MRI tests results are in (which I'm having done tonight) Dr Chui said it will not interfear with my standard treatment, and is showing great potential for being able to zoom specifically in on the individuals tumor, in my case , the Kirsten tumor. I've heard bits and pieces about this in the IRU (where I worked last at OHSU) and have heard great things. So..........if I qualify I'll try it. More on that later. Next I met with Mary Ann, the RN who oriented me to "all about my Port-a-cath" which is the central line going in to my heart to receive my Chemo therapy. She was extremely sensitive and caring, I could feel it and I appreciated it so much. Thanks Mary Ann!

Then Dale and I went to Dinner at Red Lobster, dropped by Costco for a couple items and headed back to OHSU. We are really tired now.

The MRI was interesting.............I got into the machine and said "HEY! I NEED SOME IV ATIVAN!" I starting sweating and feeling like I couldn't breathe. They pulled me out immediately. I said I didn't think that would happen, but hey, I can't help it.........it is freaky in there, lying face down, with your boobs hanging out!!! The tech said, hey no problem, I'll go get the RN, this happens a lot.

In comes Nurse "I'm busy, do you really need to bother me!!!" With hand on hip she tells me all her problems, the med box has been sent to the pharmacy, she doesn't have any drug right here, she'll have to call the pharmacy..........and I'm just looking at her thinking........O.K.???? So why aren't you doing it? Then she says "this will delay you at least another 15-20 minutes", "I'll have to fax it down, and then run down there and get it". Then she says "Well, (breath hard), do you really want me to do all that?" I'm thinking. "You're kidding, I got the nurse from hell tonight". I'm thinking...........hey, I have always been a kind and loving nurse, what they hey??? So, I make the command decision to try it once more, and it if doesn't work, poor little nursy will have to inconvenience herself and DO HER JOB!!!

As they put me back into the machine with soft music playing on the headphones, I felt the spirit wisk over me, and I relaxed. I had no problem the rest of the time with anxiety. I only felt like my shoulders were going to break the last 8 minutes.........but hey???? I want the results!!

Welll, that's it for today. I still say, I'd much rather be the nurse than the patient. Oh, and by the way.............I start my new job tomorrow at the Vancouver Eye Surgery. What an irony.

Dr Chui says he thinks I can have Chemo on Friday, get sick over the week-end, and work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Why not??? It will probably be good for me.

See you tomorrow!!

First visit with Christina ( My Oncology RN)

March 30- QUICK BRIEF (for those who don't want to ready the whole story) -Had my axillary (ARMPIT) ultrasound today -Did a biopsy of one of my nodes -"preliminary look" by pathologist shows "NO ABNORMAL CELLS!" Yeah!!! Will get "Final report tomorrow" Tomorrow I will see Surgical, Chemo, and Radiation Oncologists and will have the complete "plan". Here's "my story" for me and anyone who wants to read it" Slept all night after taking my first full dose of Ativan..........great, but I walked to the bathroom like a drunk.......yuk! When I walked into the kitchen and saw the flowers Lynn and Don Rutherford had given me along with the Easter Roses my Nephew Jared and his family had sent me I cried. Good tears. I said "Dale, take a picture of me, this is the way to start this kind of day. I am feeling the love!" I feel peace. I feel love. Let's Go!

The Breast Center at OHSU is actually quite beautiful, and very artsy, with specialty pictures, fancy glass for the lights, very welcoming..........if you gotta go there. The desk person couldn't find my appointment and sent me over to another unit. They couldn't find my appointment either (go figure) and told me I should go back to where I started. Anyone every experience this before?! I told her that THEY had sent me HERE. Oh...........she made a few phone calls and then said they will be expecting you back over where you first went (smile). We were called back to a conference room and seated in comfortable chairs.

Christina, the RN came in and introduced herself. She went over all the details of what we know so far, what the options will be for treatment,and then told me they were going to do my axillary ultrasound today so the Dr would have the results already. (good idea). Of course I was dressed in a dress, planning to go straight to the temple and not thinking I was having any tests today. So when they called me back to the ultrasound dressing room, you just take off your blouse and put on a little cape! Hmmmmmmmmmm, I don't think I want to walk down the hallway this way........so I grabbed two extra capes and tied each one on a different hip and made a matching "skirt". Very creative I thought, and more importantly modest enough to walk down the hall. The ultrasound tech found a couple nodes that looked "enlarged and lumpy". The Dr then came in and re-ultrasounded (is that a word?) and said we need to take a couple biopsies to check this out. So they did..........not so bad once you get past the novocaine injection. The pathologist came down and looked at the samples right there. The Doctor told me that the Prelimiary look shows NO ABNOMAL CELLS! Yippee. Final report tommorrw.

Went to temple from there. Turns out my ordinance worker in Initiatory just spent the last year fighting the same kind of cancer I have. Co-incidence? I don't think so. I had a very spiritual experience...........again, and then went on a session where Dale and I were asked to be the witness couple. Is the Lord aware of each of his children??? Very much so. See ya tomorrow after THE BIG DAY!

Let's get started

                                         Katie and her tumbleweed before we got to Nancy's



Thank-you Nancy for getting me going. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I guess I'll figure it out as I go. I'm starting this blog as a means to communicate with all my family and friends with what is happening in my life and as a personal record of my journey with my latest trial being diagnosed with Breast Cancer. So, some parts may be too much for you, others will just be a quick update, read as much or little as you want....... Wednesday March 16th I got up excited to head over to Nancy's with Dale and Katie Casey so we could "take over" the Martin gang ( Natalie, Emily, Blake and Hailey) while Nancy and Byron took off for a quick trip to Vegas for a Ricks College Re-union. After a "hugful" re-union with Nancy and the two youngest , Dale and I wereheaded off to the park with Blake, Hailey, and Katie for a quick preview of fun while we waited for Natalie and Emily to get home from school. I forgot Hailey's binky and decided it would behoove me to run in and get it, as I did I heard my cell phone ringing.........hmmmmm it was from OHSU. They had said they would call me the following afternoon Thursday, not today, with my biopsy results, which they expected were probably what they called "fatty necrosis" but they couldn't definitively rule out carcinoma. My nursing mind said, "O.K. no news is good news, why are they calling ME NOW?" The nurse on the other end said "I have your biopsy results"......I'm thinking "O.K. what are they?", but there is silence and she makes me ask what they are..........not a good sign. She says "I'm really sorry, but they were positive, you have breast cancer." Everything just sort of stopped. I thought "what?" "you're kidding?" I got really "stupid" and just listened as she explained it is "Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, a Grade 2" and went off into a world of surrealistic explanations, none of which I understood or got..........I was too busy integrating the information.......I have breast cancer! Poor Byron, was the first person I saw, I kind of mumbled "I just found out I have breast cancer" grabbed him in a big hug, put my head on his shoulder, and broke out in huge gulping sobs. He wrapped his arms around me and just held me and said "I'm sorry". I FELT his love...........turns out he was a good person to be there for me. He asked me if there was anything he could do, to which I immediately responded "I would really appreciate it if you and Dale would give me a blessing." Then, Dale pokes his head in to see what is taking so long and I tell him. He tears up while trying to assimilate the information too, hugging, crying, hugging. The kids are clueless, except Katie who hugs grandma and says "what is the matter". I try to explain to my 10yr old granddaughter that I just found out I'm sick. I received a wonderful blessing, and decided the best thing to do was distract us and head to the park with the kids anyway.............big mistake. Trying to be cheerful and fun with a 10 month, 3 yr old, and 10 yr old, right after this news was not happening. I fought the tears while smiling at the kids and trying to cheer Blake down the slide. It was at this point, I realized, for the first time I could remember............"I can't push myself through this. I can't do this. I have to go home." Nancy and Natalie were overwhelmingly loving. More tears, more hugs. Even Blake came up and hugged grandma in a solemn, sincere fashion, which spoke only of a precious spirit who sensed something serious was going on but did not really understand.

                                         Emily hiding from grandma, afraid she might "catch it"

 Emily hid under a table with tears in her eyes. We found out she was afraid to get too close to grandma so she wouldn't catch whatever this ailment was that had everyone so upset about. After I told her it wasn't contagious she came over and hugged me too.

                                               Nancy just found out I have breast cancer

                                                           Byron and Blake

The kids made a dozen cards for me that I will treasure forever. This was all the beginning of feeling the Saviors' arms wrap around me. Home and I texted the Bishop to let him know what was happening. He asked me if it was O.K. to have the ward include me in their fast. Wow, I was honored. The next thing I know I am getting phone calls and e-mails filled with the overwhelming warmth of the Savior. His angels are with me and I feel the love and the strength. How blessed I am. I decide to call this "MY Willie Handcart Experience". I'm wanting to "walk with angels, and talk with God". Sunday was a spiritual feast, I actually felt that I was being blessed to be able to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ than I ever have before. There is a plan here. The natural woman gets frightened, and anxious (especially at night), but then comes the peace........Oh that wonderful peace. Bishop Neil and Dale gave me a blessing, along with all the ward missionaries and Brother Farthing. It was overwhelming, I felt the spirit from my head to my toes. Again.........more gratitude. Current Update: Tomorrow we got see my Oncology Nurse, Christina, who is going to give us more information. Thursday we go see my Surgical Oncologist, Dr Naik, at 10:15 am FOR A 40 minute visit and then she will order the rest of my tests needed to "stage" my cancer. This will include axillary(armpit) ultrasound, chest x-ray, and CT Scans of my body to see if it has spread anywhere else. Then we meet with my Oncology team to get the results, staging, and their proposal for treatment. Will advise you then.

Welcome!

Hello Mom! This is the beginning of your blog. I hope this is easy for you to use and a convenient way for you to get information and updates out to all the people who love and care about you. Let me know what questions you have, and start blogging!