Didn't get to go to beach, but got a REAL funny story.....

Well, we ended up not making it to the beach. I was just too darn sick. I couldn't even think about driving to Seaside, let alone hanging out down there. So we stayed here and I was very well taken care of. Here are some great pictures of Rachel's kids.

That's Danni waving in the front, with Kelly right next to Rachel, and Alex leaning on the car.

Up above is Aunt Nancy and Katie.......cute aren't they!

Here is the Funny Story: Rachel, Nancy and I went shopping at Costco. As we are looking at all the goods we come across the tomatoe plants below. Rachel and Nancy start in on this lengthy dialogue of "can you believe people would spend $13.00 on tomato plants?", "who in the world would do that?" "why would someone spend that much money on a tomatoe plant?" "Why wouldn't you just plant a small one and grow it yourself" "I just can't believe people would spend their money that way".............etc. etc. All the while I'm kind of saying hmmmmmm, yeah, wow. Then I burst into a laughter so loud and boisterous that Nancy and Rachel stop dead and look at me...........and Nancy says "did you buy one of these mom?" While I'm rolling on the floor laughing I tell them that Dale and I just bought two of them the day before and we're really excited to get a jump on the growth. Boy did we all get a good laugh on that one!!




Here's the final picture of me, not feeling really well, but coming home to find a gift (the plant)that had been left here for me, and feeling very touched to have received it!!








Here is
A thought I keep near me to remember when I think I need a little boost:

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do, not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased!"
Heber J. Grant

Can't forget CVR at Good Health Naturally

           Rachel sacrifices the "luxury" chair for her little sister. I'd say she still looks pretty comfy!



Nancy is gone into "CVR" land; a place of healing, contemplation, and joining of the body, mind and soul.



I just couldn't let Nancy come and not have the CVR experience that Rachel and I have every week. So I had asked Roger Barnick ahead of time and he said he'd be happy to let her try it with us. We got the appropriate pictures, and it was a definite sell!!
Nancy wants to come experience CVR with us every week. Who knows, someday, somehow, someway..........we'll work it out! I have to say, on the holistic approach, it really does work!

Thanks Roger for a great experience!

Saturday May 28th, gotta do Klineline with Nancy

Something a lot of you might not know is that some 20ish years ago, Nancy dragged me to the Ridgefield reserves and literally walked next to me clapping and hollering and dancing around and saying "come on mom, you can do this!!" . I half expected to have a heart attack as I "ran" what seemed to be a forever mile, but by the grace of God, I made it. This is how I got started running. So it is always special to be able to go for a walk or run with Nancy. I eventually got to be a pretty good runner for a middle aged lady, and learned to love running! I ran several small races and the Hood to Coast twice. (once WITH Nancy)  Thanks Nancy.







So here we are going on a walk at Klineline, Nancy is by the water being patient with her mother as always.
We caught a mother goose and her little babies on camera! This water is actually the walking path.........which has been flooded!!







This is a Kayaker, sneaking by us on the swiftly moving Salmong Creek. What a way to breathe in the good and leave the bad behind!

Traditions: Red Lobster

I have a tradition with my girls, that when we get a chance, which isn't very often, we go to Red
Lobster to laugh, pig out, giggle and just be plain silly. It works every time! So we went to "drown my sorrows" when I couldn't have my chemo, at Red Lobster. The pictures tell a story in and of themselves. Enjoy.

Nancy and Rachel "fighting" over a cheese biscuit.  Rachel had a sudden voracious appetite and couldn't get enough!

Nancy asked the waiter for another fork. He asked her "where did yours go?" Rachel chimed in "she put it in her purse, it is a habit of hers."  See why we have fun, you never know who's going to say what! Good one Rachel

Here is the classic shot of Redlobster, one that tells you "you're here" now...........enjoy!

Nancy and Rachel Rock! May 27th

Well, the girls are here to take me to Chemo # 5. I'm excited to be able to go with the two of them. Nancy brought her movie camera because she heard how "goofy" I get and wants to get it on camera. Ha! Here we are getting ready to go:




It is so good to feel loved. Here we are in the waiting room to be called in for the "blood draw"
Rachel said for everyone to cross their legs in the same direction, then just before the picture was snapped she switched........silly Rachel:
By the time we got back I had been to the "rest room" a few times and was getting a little nervous about it. I hadn't ever had "that" problem during chemo. I wasn't really feeling all that well and I don't want anything to interfere with getting my treatment.Here's Jon, he brought us back to the infusion area, and is checking things out to make sure "we're cool". Of course, you know, Jon is definitely cool. He is the one who was born on the same day as me!


Rachel and Nancy are getting comfortable for the stay.














Elissa comes out to say hi to the girls. She'll be the infusion Rn for the day. I have not met an infusion nurse who isn't wonderful yet! Elissa is no exception here.








And here comes the Queen Bee.....Deirdre. "My" research nurse. She is the one I e-mail to about every little thing that bothers me, and she takes good care of me!! Nancy gets the pleasure to meet her!






We are discussing the "situation" and how I've been doing this week. (which isn't really so good)..
Deirdre gets to tell me I am not going to be able to get my chemo therapy today, because my symptoms have been too many times and "we want to kill the cancer, not the patient". I'm really disappointed, it means pushing out my "done" time a week further. Psychologically I'll just have to adjust.

Independent gardening May 26th.

Dale is working hard to get our new "drip" system up and running. We are excited to have planted another good crop this year, but have found, in the past, we just don't have time for all the watering. Hence, the drip system. I'm so excited about it. Dale even has a drip system going to my hanging plants off the back deck. Here is an example of it: (when the vegies grow up it will not be so noticeable).



The trees along the fence are apple and pears, it looks like we'll have a "fair" crop this year, but next year ought to be great. Unfortunately the late freeze took most of our plums and a lot of our blueberries for the year.
I'm excited because Nancy is coming to spend the week-end with me!! BOTH Nancy and Rachel will take me to Chemo on Friday and then Nancy and I are going to the beach! With both girls having 4 children of their own, this is a pretty special opportunity to have "all alone".

Genetics Counseling May 25th

It is time to stick my head out of my cave and do a little blogging. Funny how surrealistic time has become. Usually there is never "enough" time, now I feel like I just exist in a little bubble. When you don't feel well, time just sort of stops. I am feeling better today though, and am working on a system of better appreciating the time I do have. Perspective has changed a lot, and continues to change. I have lots of thoughts on that...........later. For now I'll catch up on what has happened.

I made it to my genetics counseling appointment. It was very interesting. They of course, were all about statistics, and how that works in to testing. For me, the statistics didn't work. Since all of MY cancer relatives were not first generation it did not count on a scale that would be of any help to my descendents, or following generations. According to the current statistics, because I have breast cancer, my children have a 15% chance of getting it. People without a relative who has breast cancer have an approximate 8% chance of getting it........so it is not very helpful.

But.........if now my children get breast cancer, statistics would change for the grandchildren.......but that doesn't help my children does it? There is a gene called the BCRA, which if you are positive for it, you have an 80% chance of getting breast cancer. The testing for this costs $3,500.00 which needless to say, we are not going to pay for. BUT if I had qualified as a risk for it, the insurance would have paid for it. So I guess it is good news/bad news. Good news because according to their studies our risks are low. Bad news, because if we fall into the 15% of the population, the odds mean nothing to us. I have breast cancer, so it means nothing to me. But..........I do understand how it works. Basically we just need to be responsible and get our mammograms done regularly, eat right and exercise. Here are some pictures of my genetics appointment.



The counselors were very helpful and informed. They were fun to visit with. They felt bad they couldn't iniciate any testing for me (since I was interested in it). But the "standards" are the standards. I do get it.

Spending the Day with the "Porcelaine Queen"

Today was one of those days spent in my newly "organized" bathroom.  My friend, Kathy, made many a suggestion just for days like today.........ie: set up a library in there, have fluids ready to drink, have paper to write on, buy a really comfortable toilet seat, have a phone available if desired. Here is a picture of Kathy:

(thanks Kathy)

These are the kinds of places my mind  goes to on days like today........it helps remember what it is really all about, and yes........it is worth it:

Grandma and Emily having a tea party

Here is my thought for the day that I would like to share.  Kathy sent it to me........and I pass it on to you:

"Why is life so hard?

If it is God’s work and His glory,

why is it so hard?

Salvation is not a cheap experience

And

it was never meant to be easy.

Let us not worry about why it is so hard.

Accept difficulties.

Count it a privilege to suffer

and

be discomforted

because

in some small way

you are sharing

in

our Saviors experience."

Jeffrey R Holland

Thailand

Missionary Training

Chemo # 4

So we made it to Chemo.  Rachel was faithfully waiting at our home to take me, hoping we'd make it.  We did.  Here is Rachel out in the waiting room at OHSU just hanging out with her mom.  I love it.......thanks Rachel!  Nothing really new during chemo, I can now say "same old - same old". But for me, the actual infusion isn't too bad.  I get high as a kite on steroids, laugh and talk non-stop with Rachel and then we head to our new Friday post-chemo stop at Good Health Naturally.  We are both signed up with Roger to do a series of "CVR" programs.  I am doing one for dealing with cancer, and
Rachel is doing one for stress reduction.  It is so cool! We get in these great lounger chairs (which are also automatic massage chairs) they put these glasses on us, then head phones, turn down the lights, and turn on the programs.  The sunglasses have these lights that blink at intermittent speeds and brightness (totally not irritating) and this guys speaks to you about how to relax, visualize, and use your own natural healing from within.  It works!  We are so relaxed and feel like we are getting in better control.  Here we are learning and enjoying a new kind of personal care:

Of course I go one day a week also and get a chiropractic adjustment.  Jeff  ( our son the chiropractor who lives in Colorado) has convinced me this will help my body to better be able to use its natural abilities to heal along with the chemicals which are doing their thing.  I really do believe it does!

At the head of it all is of course, our Savior Jesus Christ.  I read something in the Ensign that really clicked with me I'd like to share.  That During his mortal life Christ CHOSE to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand US.  Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.

 It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior's promised relief, that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us... and faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best.  Sometimes a "healing" cures our illness or lifts our burden.  But sometimes we are "healed" by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.

I am once again thankful to be able to go through my journey, with Him, knowing that I will be able to come out a better person. Just keep holding on.........

Beach Break May 16th - 20th

Well, Dale and I decided to "run away" for a few days to the beach, so we packed up the bikes and took off for Long Beach.  Thank-you Worldmark! It was sunny for the whole 3 days we were there, it must  be a sign or something right?  Turns out we never got the energy up to go bike riding, but it just felt good to know we could go if we wanted to.

We did however make it out for a walk along the beach every day.  It is amazing how good that feels, a real good reminder to just get up and move no matter the energy level;  any energy  usage does seem to create more energy.  I do notice I can not pick and choose my moments so readily anymore.  They kind of just pick me, so.......... I  go with it.

I call this one "bald at the beach".  Hey you know what.........hats and wigs are overrated.  They definitely have their place and I'm grateful, but enough is enough when you start getting all itchy and sweaty..........it is a la natural for me!

At least we're in better shape than this poor guy!  We felt really bad to find him laying out in the sand. Someone else said there was a whale aground out a little further too.......thankfully we never did see that. I did however prove once again I'm human.  I went to the bakery.......Oh yes, anyone that knows me knows what a mistake that was!  I blew it big time. Now mind you I had a great time, but suffered all night from it, had to get up at 5:30 in the morning to head in for chemo, and then confess to Deirdre why my symptoms (which I need to report every Friday) were so bad for the previous 24 hours.  How embarrassing, I know better, but sometimes " the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" even when you know how important it is.  So........you know what, I am just going to forgive myself and move on. 

May 16th, Is the Chemo working or not??????????

Today was the day to go up to OHSU and get a repeat MRI scan and a repeat Biopsy to test and find out if the chemo is working or not.  Kind of exciting..........and yet a bit "Oh boy, I hope it is working". I have my protective mask on.........no need to encourage any other problems. I've had some Ativan here and it was decided Dale had better push me around in a wheel chair as I was not too steady on my feet.

Waiting for the Biopsy

The ultrasound is ready to guide the biopsy needle

I think this is so cool that they can do this and I can watch!

As usual everyone at OHSU treated me like a queen.  I know they are busy, but they did not give me any idea that they were.  It is nice to feel cared for and important.  Most of all, it is nice to feel kindness from another.

Now..............I get home and guess who calls me???? Oh yes.........dear sweet Deirdre.  Love that girl!  She has the reports for me.  Are you ready???  My tumor has shrunk from 2.8cm to 1.9 cm in just three weeks!  YEAH!!!!! We have the right drugs, and they are working!.  I of course start asking if maybe we will be able to cut the # of treatments down from 24 to ???  The answer of course is NO.  Darn, I had to try.  We want to kill it all and not have it come back..........so I'm with the program.  Just a thought.  Nevertheless  I am feeling extremely GRATEFUL!!!

May 11-15th

Dale working with the fruit trees

Well, we all knew I'd have a break now and then, I kept thinking "I'm going to blog" but it didnt' happen.  The good news is it  is mostly because we have been having a good time and not because of overwhelming illness.  Dale and I had a few good days before my last chemo where we went out and just worked in the garden and the the garage.  It felt really good to get some stuff done!!:

Dale has the big tomatoes

We're going to make Salsa!

Slug prevention (note the hat I learned how to "make" at the Look Good Feel Better Class!

It felt so good to get the garden planted.  Dale is also working on the watering system and re-vamping the garage for more storage and to upgrade his workbench a bit.

Dale and his "real mans' vice". He always says "the right tool for the right job"

Chemo went really well on Friday.  They told me this would be the week I'd really "tank" and to be really careful of "germs".  My white count(neutrophil) is down from 5.5 to 1.5

BEFORE chemo on Friday (they want to keep it greater than 1.7).  So they gave me a mask and told me to take it easy. 

Rachel and Dave showed up for a quick visit and to pick up some furniture for us. They are a cute couple aren't they?

Sunday I made it to church for Sacrament Meeting.....just barely, it was one of those days. I was glad I made it home on time!!

Golden Friends



Remember the song we sang as kids "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..." Well a couple of my Golden friends took me to lunch today.  Janet and Linda used to work with me in the Nurse Treatment Room at Kaiser....those were the days........we loved our work, we loved the patients, we had a good time.  Anyway, Janet treated us both to lunch at the Bamboo Hut.  I loved the Pho soup (hope I spelled it right) and of course their spring rolls.  I had started out a bit concerned because my stomach was not co-operating, but after eating here my stomach felt great.



Here's Janet ordering (and paying for) our food!

You will notice the twinkle in Janet's eyes.  It's always there.  She just has a zest for life and can't help having a good time.  I'm always telling her it"s her "creative side" coming out.  I think it is. She has a unique way of looking at things with a real positive spin to it! Goooooo  Janet.

 

Linda (or Lindy as we call her) and Janet
Check out that food........yummm
Now check out Linda's eyes......
Nope, not the Janet sparkle, just pure kindness
Linda is the kindness person I know. 
She will literally do anything for you and never complain.  We have to be careful not to take advantage of our Lindy!!!!!  But, she also loves to go and DO things, and have FUN!!!!

Then Linda and Janet decided they were going to help me be in compliance with Dr. Chui's "orders", so they "dragged me" (not really) down to the park for a 3 mile walk.  What a great day for it!!  I even took off my long sleeved cover shirt for a few minutes to capture some Vit D rays  (but not for too long!)

Naturally we just about talked ourselves to death.........and then it was time to go.  Janet and Linda went to Applebee's and I was proud of myself to tell them "I'm too tired, I need to go home and rest".  That is huge for me...........but I'm learning!  Thanks girls for a wonderful day!!!

I got home and Dale was putting in a new spigot in the front yard so we can hook up a better drip system for our garden, and spend less time watering!! yeahhhhhh  Dale!



What a sweetheart!

Once again we prove the song "Count your many Blessings" to be true!!  I could give you a list of complaints if I wanted.  But why would I want to do that when I have so many blessings?????